i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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