That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
