it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
