What a fucking waste of an outfit
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
