This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
