you would pick up someone in the library
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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