If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
