For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
