Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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