I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
