yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
