Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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