I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
