there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
This is the high leading the old right now
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
