No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
