does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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