it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
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