Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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