my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
