Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
