wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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