You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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