I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
