she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize