im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
we should paint friendship bongs
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
