let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize