Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
so much tequila, so little girl.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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