brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
