I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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