I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
