I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
