she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
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I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
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I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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