so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Randomize
