he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
