Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
