sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So much rum. So many feels.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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