OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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