I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
