Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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