i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
grandma shit on top of the toilet
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
