i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
