He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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