u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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