He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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