Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
