Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
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Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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