I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
