If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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