Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
