Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
