Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
