So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
