I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
