Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
