Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
