I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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