you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
